


some lavender flowers in a broken shell

by Shadowcrawler



Category: Halt and Catch Fire
Genre: Alcohol, Canon Continuation, Canon Lesbian Character, F/F, Feelings Realization, Femslash, First Kiss, Partners to Lovers, Sharing a Bed, Support Group
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:46:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26330596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadowcrawler/pseuds/Shadowcrawler
Summary: Post-series, Donna decides to go to a PFLAG meeting to figure out how to talk to Haley. She convinces Cameron to come too.
Relationships: Donna Clark/Cameron Howe
Comments: 7
Kudos: 85





	some lavender flowers in a broken shell

**Author's Note:**

> I did as much research as I could about PFLAG chapters in California, but as you can imagine, info from the early 1990s is kind of hard to come by. I did some guesswork about the Billy DeFrank Center as a meeting spot, since obviously PFLAG isn't having in-person meetings right now, but if someone knows where they actually met in the 90s I'd be happy to correct that. Also I stole some characters from other things, most notably But I'm a Cheerleader (1999). I figured it was fitting, what with the Mackenzie-Clea Duvall connection and all.
> 
> Oh, and I went with Cantwell's tweet that said Donna's last idea was Napster. But I also don't know anything about code so please forgive any errors there lol.

“What are you doing on Wednesday night?”

Cameron glances up from the code she’s working on. “Uh, nothing, why?”

Donna bites her lip. “Haley’s been...I think she’s really struggling with a lot of... _things-_ ” She drops her voice, even though Haley is in her room and there’s no way she could ever hear Donna through her headphones. “-and I happened to see a flyer for this group, PFLAG, Parents And Friends of Lesbians And Gays. They meet in San Jose every second Wednesday. I think it’s a support group. I mean, not a _support_ group, but it’s to learn how to support your kid or friend or whatever.” 

Cameron tilts her head. “So you’re gonna go.”

“Yeah. And I’d feel weird going alone.” Donna gives her a hopeful look. “Will you come with me?”

Cameron laughs, running a hand through her hair. “What the hell am I gonna say at a meeting like that?”

“You don’t have to say anything. I would just feel better if you came with me.”

Sighing, Cameron considers for a second. “Fine. I’m not gonna say shit though.”

Donna rolls her eyes fondly. “I’m not expecting you to. I’d just like to talk to someone about how to help Haley.”

Cameron doesn’t say anything else, but she nods.

—-

Donna tells Haley they’re going to see _Crimson Tide_ after dinner _,_ which makes Haley’s eyes glaze over instantly from disinterest and keeps her from asking questions. “I thought it was kids who lie to their parents about where they’re going,” Cameron snarks once they’re in the car. Donna ignores her.

The flyer directs them to a meeting room at the Billy DeFrank Center, which has about a dozen people in it, sitting around and chatting. A smiling woman wearing a flowered dress comes up to them. “Hi!” she says. “Welcome to PFLAG San Jose. I’m Megan.”

“I’m Donna,” Donna says, giving her a smile and a firm handshake. “This is my partner Cameron.” She nudges Cameron, as if to say _please act normal in front of this nice woman._

Cameron gives her a nod. “Hey.”

“Is this your first meeting?” Megan asks, still smiling. “I can get you a welcome packet if you’d like one, and we’ve got some refreshments over there if you want to help yourselves.” She points at the table set up on one side of the room with a few plates of snacks and some drinks. “We’ll be getting started with the meeting in about ten minutes - we like to let everybody socialize as much as they like at the start.”

“Oh, I’d love a welcome packet,” Donna says, beaming. Cameron ambles over to inspect the snack table. “Oh, get me a Coke, will you?” Donna calls after her, to Cameron’s thumbs-up acknowledgment.

“Let me grab that welcome packet for you,” Megan chirps. “Would your partner like one too?”

“Oh, no, she’s okay.” Donna takes a second to scope out the room before going to claim two of the chairs arranged in a circle at the center of the room. There are a few people seated already, but most are standing up and chatting. She settles in and, after a moment, Cameron returns with the requested Coke and an orange soda for herself. 

“She’s chirpy,” Cameron mutters. 

Donna rolls her eyes. “She isn’t _that_ bad, you just hang around with misanthropes.”

Cameron’s about to answer when Megan comes back, holding a booklet. “Here you go,” she says, handing it to Donna. “Feel free to flip through it, it has our mission statement and a short list of policies for our meetings. You can talk or not talk tonight, whatever you’re comfortable with. We want this to be a place of safety and confidentiality for all attendees.”

“Great,” Donna says. She’s already skimming the packet, taking in every word with the practiced eye of someone who is used to looking over official documents. “Yeah, I’m here on behalf of my daughter, she’s having a bit of a hard time.”

Megan makes a sympathetic face. “How old?”

“Sixteen. She doesn’t want to talk to me about anything right now, you know how kids are.” Donna chuckles awkwardly. “I was hoping maybe someone would have some advice.”

Nodding, Megan says, “I definitely know kids. My partner and I run a halfway house for ex-ex-gay kids.” At Donna’s incredulous look, she laughs and says, “It’s a long story. I can go into it more later if you want, but I think the meeting’s gonna start pretty soon.”

“Oh, sure.” Donna settles in and tries not to feel awkward. 

Megan turns out to be one of the leaders at the meeting, and she calls everyone to attention with a bright “Hey everyone! Welcome to the San Jose PFLAG chapter. I see some new faces today, so I’ll reiterate that this is a safe space, and that whatever you hear or say in this room stays here unless someone explicitly gives permission to share what they said with others. We want everyone who wants or needs to share to feel comfortable. You don’t need to use real names if you don’t want to, but if you’re planning on being a repeat visitor we’d love to have something to call you by.” She beams at Cameron, who blinks questioningly at her. “To start with, I’ll go ahead and mention that we have family brunch at the halfway house every other Saturday morning for anyone who wants to join. Let me know if anyone wants details on that. Now, does anyone have something they want to share?”

Donna hesitates, not wanting to go first. There’s a moment of silence and then a surly-looking teenager with purple Kool-Aid hair clicks her tongue. “Well, my mom still thinks my bisexuality’s a phase, so that’s, y’know, cool.”

Megan gives the girl a sympathetic smile. “Did you give her the brochure I sent with you last time?”

The girl laughs, but not like anything is actually funny. “Yeah, Mom’s not much of a reader. She’s too busy terrorizing her underlings.”

“Oh, Mal.” Megan frowns. “Do you think maybe it would help her understand if she came to one of these meetings?”

“Oh my god, no,” says the girl (Mal) with a deep belly laugh. “My mom only cares about two things: power, and me following in her footsteps. What I want, not so much a factor in the equation.”

Cameron has started slouching in her chair and is making a face like she’s being reminded of something she’d rather not think about. Donna leans over and murmurs, “You okay?” and Cameron clenches her jaw and nods.

A few more people speak, some more hesitant than others. One blonde woman’s older sister had just come out to her and asked for help in telling their parents, who were likely to be supportive, just a bit old-fashioned. An older Latino man seems uncertain and slightly uncomfortable, speaking slowly, like he’s choosing his words carefully. But he talks about his adult daughter, who’s recently started dating a woman, with such love that it breaks Donna’s heart a little. It’s just not something he and his wife ever thought about, he says, but he wants to support her. Megan listens and nods and offers advice when it’s asked for, and sympathy when it isn’t. 

Finally, when there’s a lull, Donna clears her throat and says, “I think my younger daughter is gay.”

Megan nods encouragingly for her to go on, so Donna does. “She’s sixteen, which is a real bitch of an age anyway, and the last few years have been pretty rough on her. Her dad and I split up two years ago, and then he died last year, and she took that pretty hard.”

“That’s an understatement,” Cameron mutters. When all heads turn to look at her, she shrugs and adds, “They were business partners, I mean, as much as you can be at fifteen with your dad. Never saw that kid happier than when she was coding. Losing her dad really fucked with her head.”

Donna nods. “She hacked off all her hair about a week before he passed. Not that haircuts mean anything,” she adds quickly, “but it was...something to consider. She started dating this boy from school, but she didn’t seem to actually like him or want to hang out with him. And our...one of our old business partners told me some things about how she needed _extra support_ in some areas that made me think maybe she _is_ gay and I just missed the signs. I know that sounds ridiculous, but there it is.” She laughs. 

One of the other regulars, a well-dressed Filipino guy who introduced himself as Dolph, smiles encouragingly. “That’s not ridiculous,” he says. “That’s really normal. Hell, I signed up for wrestling in high school and my parents didn’t figure it out until the coach caught me kissing one of my teammates. But you’re here, so you’re obviously not gonna freak out like they did.”

Donna blinks. “I’m sorry.”

He shrugs, almost cheerful. “It’s okay. Like I said, you found us, so you’re already doing great.”

“How does your daughter feel about Cameron?” Megan asks. 

Donna blinks again. “Well, she - she likes Cameron just fine. Cameron moved in with us a little while ago, actually, and it’s been really - nice.” The word feels inadequate, to describe the way that Cameron’s slipped back into their lives after being away for so long. Of course she’s messy and obnoxious and buries herself in work. But she also inspires Donna, and challenges her in ways she hasn’t been in too long. This file sharing thing, it might pan out or not, but either way, Donna has no regrets about letting Cameron back into her life. 

“That’s good,” Megan says, and there’s a murmur of agreement from the others. “You don’t think there’s any resentment there, maybe because you got a new partner so soon after her dad died?”

“What? No, Cameron and I go way back. We were partners long before Gordon passed. She lived with us before, actually.” It’s only when she hears the barely-stifled snort from Cameron and really looks at the confused expressions of the others that it dawns on her. “Oh! Oh, no, there’s been a misunderstanding, Cameron and I aren’t - we’re _business_ partners.”

Cameron, clearly amused by the mixup, adds, “If she wanted someone, she sure as hell could do better than me.”

Megan, looking acutely embarrassed, says, “I’m so sorry for the confusion, I - well, that changes my approach quite a bit.” She laughs nervously and adds, “Let’s go back to Haley. How have you been supportive in general lately?”

The rest of the meeting Donna feels restless and awkward, which isn’t a normal feeling for her. She hates it. The advice they give is good, though, so at least it wasn’t a total waste of time. Cameron barely speaks again, and when they leave and head back out to the car Donna barely makes it to the car before she turns to Cameron and says, “Holy shit.”

Cameron looks back at her, eyes bright with laughter. “Did you seriously not figure out they thought we were fucking?”

“It wasn’t _that_ obvious,” Donna says with a loud sigh. “I call you my partner all the time, for god’s sake!”

“Yeah, but you don’t talk about how we live together all the time.” Cameron is still grinning. “That sure didn’t help.”

“Shut up,” Donna groans, starting the car. “Other than.. _.that_ , I think that was good. That was helpful.” She backs out of the parking space and heads back toward the highway. “Thanks for coming,” she adds, feeling awkward. “I didn’t mean for it to get weird.”

Cameron shrugs. “It was okay. They seem like nice people. Way too much feelings talk for me, but y’know. Supportive. Which I guess is the point.”

“Yeah. Maybe I’ll see if Haley wants to come with me sometime.”

They’re quiet for most of the ride back, and as soon as they get inside Cameron heads right back to her computer. Donna doesn’t push it - it’s been a weird night. Haley’s in her room with the door closed, and when Donna taps on her door and calls, “Hey, we’re back from the movie,” Haley just calls “Okay, good night.” Donna doesn’t push her to talk either, and goes out to the kitchen to get some wine. 

Megan’s advice had been to wait until Haley brings it up, and not to push her into any kind of confession or heart-to-heart. So Donna waits. And she thinks, mostly when she slows down and lets the wine clear her head. She thinks about the things the other attendees said, the pain and confusion and anger in some of their eyes as they talked. She thinks about the way she felt immediately welcomed. She thinks about the way Cameron said “if she wanted someone, she sure as hell could do better than me.” 

She downs the rest of her glass and goes to bed.

About a week later, Haley’s at a sleepover and it’s just her and Cameron for dinner. “Pizza?” Cameron asks hopefully. 

Donna rolls her eyes. “You’re acting like _we’re_ the kids left home alone.”

“But better,” Cameron points out, “‘cause we have money _and_ we can drink.” 

Donna snorts. “Fine, I’ll call it in. You grab the beers.”

Forty five minutes later, they’ve polished off most of the pizza and are down two beers each. They’ve been playfully arguing about the best way to market the as-yet-unnamed file sharing service Donna suggested. “Word-of-mouth is the only way,” Cameron is saying, half through a mouthful of cheese and crust. “You can’t push this at people. I’d never trust anyone who told me to use this kind of service. But if you just show it to a few people and let them test it out, get the bugs worked out, and then spread it, boom, instant success.”

“If they like it,” Donna points out wryly. “Which isn’t a given.”

“It is,” Cameron insists. “It’s like SwapMeet but online files. People can use that for all sorts of things - hell, MP3 files would be so easy to share this way! This could be a whole new way of sharing music, Donna.” 

“Dreamer,” Donna teases. 

Cameron scoffs. “No. Gross. Just someone who knows how nerds do stuff online.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Donna opens another beer. “Hey,” she adds, “if this works out and ends up being successful, I don’t want us to be at each others’ throats again.”

“Okay.” Cameron sounds wary. “Why do you bring that up?”

“Well, maybe because the last time we worked together, we ended up not speaking to each other for years.” Donna takes a long swig of the beer.

Cameron blinks. “Okay, well, you know what it’s like working with me. You know me better than almost anyone, at this point. I can’t promise anything, Donna.”

“I know that,” Donna says, very quietly. “I know. I just…” She sighs. “I can’t lose you too.”

“Jesus, Donna, that’s maudlin.”

“So?” Donna says, a little more sharply than she means to. “My husband died last year, I think I’m allowed to be a little maudlin.”

Cameron snorts. “About him, yeah. Not me. That’s stupid.”

“Why?” Donna asks. 

Cameron barks a laugh. “Be- because he was your _husband_ , Donna! You guys were together for like half your lives or whatever! And I’m just…” She trails off. 

“Just what?” Donna stares at her, in that way that she knows Cameron hates but she can’t help herself. “Just my business partner, who _lives_ with me, who loves my kids like they’re her own and who keeps coming back into my life over and over again like a, a song that’s stuck in my head?”

“That’s a stupid metaphor,” Cameron scoffs. “What, am I the lost puppy you found in the gutter and adopted out of guilt?”

“No!” It comes out harsh enough that Cameron looks genuinely startled, and Donna softens. “I just mean...you’re a pretty big part of my life, Cameron. I don’t want you to just drop out of it again.”

“Okay.” Cameron looks slightly overwhelmed. “Like I said, I can’t guarantee anything. You know me. Sometimes I just...I just lose my shit for a little while.” She shakes her head. “I dunno why. Just a thing I do.”

Donna sighs. “I know. But even taking work out of it...you mean a lot to me.”

“Yeah, well, same to you, okay?” Cameron stuffs the remainder of her last slice into her mouth. 

“I’d hug you right now, but I know you hate it,” Donna says fondly. 

Cameron offers her a fistbump instead, which Donna leans over to accept. Except - she’s not sure if it’s the alcohol or just the angle, but she tips over toward Cameron and almost crashes into her.

“Woah!” Cameron leans forward to steady her. “Careful, or I’ll have to cut you off for the night.”

Donna’s about to say something snarky. _You know I’ve been drinking for more than half your life_ , maybe, or _You’re not blurry yet, so I’m fine._ But instead, her gaze drifts up to Cameron’s face and gets stuck there. Cameron’s eyes are so green. Piercing, is the word that floats to the top of Donna’s brain. Her lips look soft, even though Donna knows she’s been using the same half-melted tube of Chapstick for years now. How has she never noticed these things before? 

“Hey,” Cameron says with a little laugh. “You okay, Donna? You’re making a weird face.”

Donna blinks. “Yeah,” she says quickly, adjusting so she’s sitting upright again. “It’s nothing. What were we talking about?”

“ _You_ were being a sappy drunk and I was waiting for you to finish rambling so we could go back to talking about the program,” teases Cameron. Her smile is so warm. Donna’s only seen her smile like that at a few people. “Or did you wanna turn in early?”

“Psh, no.” Donna takes another sip. “I’m fine. What about the program?”

Cameron eagerly launches into a solution for a bug that Donna had encountered the week before and been meaning to come back to. And Donna is listening, she really is, but she’s also watching the way Cameron’s face is lit up as she talks, and the way that her hands move as she excitedly describes how she solved the problem. Some of her hair falls into her face, and Donna has the crazy impulse to reach out and tuck it behind her ear. Jesus, maybe she _is_ that drunk.

Eventually the conversation drifts again. “Lev emailed me yesterday,” Cameron says, her voice sleepy-slow. “Did you know he’s only like twenty minutes away?”

“Aw, Lev. What’s he up to?”

“Working on Yahoo.” Cameron laughs until she snorts and it’s simultaneously disgusting and endearing. “I think he knows how stupid it sounds. But he sounds happy. He met a guy, I guess, they’ve been together about six months. Daniel.”

“That’s great! I always worried about him, y’know? Just…” Donna trails off and waves her hand in the air. “It’s not easy. I mean, you heard all those people at that meeting.”

Cameron frowns. “What, the PFLAG meeting?”

“Yeah.” Donna swallows hard. “I’ve been thinking...about Haley and all. I don’t know how to talk to her about it. It must be so...god, just terrifying to feel alone in that way.”

“Yeah.” Cameron’s voice has gone a little shaky. “I…” She takes a deep breath. “I had a girlfriend in college. I mean, she was more of a fuckbuddy, we didn’t like, go on dates or hold hands or whatever, but...yeah.”

That definitely wasn’t what Donna was expecting her to say. “You did?”

“Yup. Alice. She was nuts.” Cameron’s smiling now. “She had a shaved head and like eight piercings and did weird eye makeup every day. First day of classes, she turned to me and said ‘I’m gonna go streaking across campus tonight, come with me?’ And I just stared at her, because I couldn’t believe what this crazy person just said, and then she laughed and winked at me and said, ‘You can just come watch if you’d rather.’ And we just...I dunno, hung out a lot after that.”

“Wow.” Donna blinks and tries to imagine this girl. “She sounds like fun.”

“She was. She took me to a ton of shows - we skipped whole days of classes to drive to them and raided 7-11s on the way for food and slept in the car. She knew more about music than anybody I’ve ever met. And she liked to jump in the campus fountain and steal the loose change out of it. I think she got fined for that like a dozen times? I don’t know.”

Donna’s not sure how to ask what she wants to ask. Finally, after a moment of consideration, she says, “Were you...I mean, did you love her?”

“God, yeah,” Cameron says. “I mean, not in the bullshit fairy tale happy endings way, but yeah, I did. Y’know, she liked to watch me code and stuff. I knew I liked guys too, but all the guys there didn’t give a shit about what I was doing, and she did.”

Donna can imagine it, a younger Cameron in front of a computer gesturing to it while the Alice-shape Donna’s conjured in her head listens. “Do you still talk to her?”

Cameron’s expression sours. “No, she was supposed to call me during the summer or whatever but she never did. And then she never came back. I dunno where she is now.”

“I’m sorry.”

Shrugging, Cameron finishes her beer in one long drink. “It’s okay. Anyway. Yeah. I dunno what to say to Haley either.”

“Is there anything you would’ve wanted to hear?” It’s out of her mouth almost before Donna realizes it, and she immediately adds, “God, never mind, you don’t have to answer that-”

“Tell her you love her,” Cameron says. Her tone’s gone flat. “Just...she needs to know that.”

Something in Donna’s heart twists. “She will,” she says, and as the words leave her mouth she feels the weight of them. 

Cameron nods, just once. Then she stands up. “I’m going to bed.”

“Wait.” Donna hates how hesitant she sounds. “Cam...do you want to come sleep in my bed tonight?”

Cameron’s about to leave the room, but she freezes at that. “What?” 

Instant regret. “It’s just that you’re upset and I’m kind of drunk and I don’t know about you, but I don’t really feel like being alone right now. But you don’t have to, it’s okay. I’ll read a book or something.”

“Bullshit,” Cameron says, and her voice sounds more normal now. She turns around and smirks at Donna. “You haven’t read a book in like five years.”

Donna plays at being offended. “How do _you_ know that? I read!”

“I’ve literally never seen you open a book. There’s like one bookshelf in your entire house that isn’t Haley’s, and it’s half-empty.”

“Oh, like you’re some great reader,” Donna says, but she’s teasing and Cameron knows it. 

Cameron grins at her, though it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “I never pretended to be.”

“Fine, fine.” Donna gathers up the empty beer bottles and the pizza box. She doesn’t really expect Cameron to still be there when she gets back from the kitchen, but she is.

“So, are we doing this sleepover thing or what?”

Donna snorts. “You don’t have to sound so excited about it.”

Cameron’s still grinning, but she looks nervous. “I’m only doing it ‘cause your bed is fucking huge and I wanna see what it’s like to sleep on a cloud or whatever.”

Cameron, as it turns out, wears basically the same thing to bed as she does any other time: boxers and a tank top. She comes into Donna’s bedroom before Donna’s even started on her nighttime routine, flopping onto the king-size bed with the expression of a kid at Disneyland. Then she shuts her eyes and lets out a noise that edges on pornographic, probably not even on purpose. Donna, startled and suddenly feeling weirdly sweaty, grabs her silk pajamas and darts into her en-suite bathroom to change.

By the time she’s back, Cameron’s sitting up, looking a bit guilty. “Sorry,” she says. “I guess just jumping into your bed like that was weird. But Jesus Christ, Donna, what do you even do in a bed this big?” Her eyes are mischievous. “Do you ever get lost in it? Because I totally would.”

“Sometimes,” Donna says, pulling back the sheet to slide in next to Cameron. Her bed is abnormally neat, she knows - she’s gotten back into the habit of making it “tight enough to bounce a quarter off of,” as her mother used to insist. “I like having a space for just me, I guess.”

“Hm.” Cameron’s quiet for a moment. “Well...thanks for letting me invade it, then.”

“You’re not invading,” Donna corrects with a roll of her eyes. “I invited you.”

“Whatever.” Cameron rolls onto her side and smiles at her. “Seriously, thanks. I didn’t mean to get weird and serious earlier.”

“Please, like I’ve never done that.” Donna lets her gaze drift lazily across Cameron’s face. She settles on her lips again. She probably tastes like beer and pizza, but Donna kind of wants to know for sure. 

Cameron laughs. “You really _are_ out of it, huh? Do I have something on my face?”

“No,” Donna yelps, embarrassed. “It’s nothing.”

They’re both quiet, just breathing and looking at each other for a minute. “Donna?” Cameron asks, sort of hesitantly. 

“Yes?” It comes out breathier than Donna expects. 

“Does it freak you out when people think we’re a couple?”

“No. Why would it?” Donna’s heart does something weird and fluttery and she quickly adds, “I mean, obviously I don’t have a problem with the idea. I’ve just never dated a woman myself.”

“I mean, I figured,” Cameron says with a little snort. “You wouldn’t be freaking out so much about Haley if you had.”

Donna feels herself bristle a little at that. “I’m not freaking out.”

“You totally are.”

“A little,” Donna concedes, “but only because I don’t want to say the wrong thing.”

“You’ll do okay,” Cameron says, and her voice has gone soft again. “You’re already doing a hell of a lot more than my mom ever did.”

“Ugh.” Donna makes a face. “If I ever meet your mom, I might just slap her in the face.”

“Don’t, she fights dirty. But thanks for offering.” Cameron pauses, then says, “I hadn’t talked about Alice in a long time. So thanks for that, too.”

“I liked hearing about her.”

“I don’t think she would’ve liked you,” Cameron adds with a smirk. “She would’ve thought you were too square.”

That makes Donna scoff. “I am _not_ square.”

“No, I know. You’re kind of a bitch sometimes, but an interesting bitch. Definitely not square.” There’s a playful glint in Cameron’s eye’s as she says it. 

“ _Wow_ ,” snorts Donna. “Thanks?”

“It’s a compliment!” 

“Oh really?” Donna scoots over to get right in Cameron’s face. 

“Yeah.” Donna can feel Cameron’s hot breath on her face. The other woman is smirking. It feels like a dare.

So Donna takes it, and leans in to kiss Cameron on the lips. 

It’s a quick kiss, maybe a few seconds. Just long enough for Cameron to make a tiny, startled noise. Donna stops, anxiety settling over her like a blanket. “Shit,” she mutters, moving away. “I’m sorry, I - I don’t know what came over me, I shouldn’t have-”

Cameron grabs her face and kisses her again. This time, Donna’s the startled one. This kiss is a little longer, long enough for Donna to notice that Cameron’s lips are definitely as soft as they look. “Oh,” she says, once they break apart.

“Were you trying to get me into bed this whole time?” Cameron teases. “Y’know you could’ve just come out and said it.”

“No,” Donna says. “I didn’t have a plan. I’ve been...thinking...but no plan.”

“Ooh, thinking. Donna Emerson, have you been _fantasizing_ about me?” 

“Jesus, Cameron, no,” groans Donna, which just makes Cameron laugh. “You’re just a big part of my life and I’ve been thinking about what that means. What you mean to me.”

Cameron blinks slowly. “Yeah?”

“I didn’t think I’d want anything long-term after I left Gordon. Not for a long time, anyway. And then you came crashing back into my life and we started this new thing together and - and I’m having a hard time imagining my life without you.” Donna swallows and adds, “You said I anchored you once. I kind of feel like you’ve been doing the same for me lately.”

“Me? Donna, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m a fucking _mess._ ”

“And I’m not?” Donna laughs. “I’d turned into someone I didn’t even recognize. Starting this whole file sharing thing with you kind of snapped me out of that.”

“Yeah, you kind of did turn into Businesswoman Barbie, in the scariest way possible.” Cameron’s grinning again. “I like you better when I don’t feel like you’re gonna stab me with your heel.”

“Please, I’d never stab someone. I’d use poison,” teases Donna. “So...that was...okay?”

“Donna, that was more than okay.” Cameron moves so close that there’s barely an inch between them, then kisses her again. Donna sighs into her mouth and wraps an arm around Cameron. This wasn’t how she expected the night to go at all, but she’s definitely not complaining.

\---

They last about three days of pretending they aren’t “a thing” around Haley.

“I’m calling a family meeting tonight,” Donna says after Haley almost catches them making out in the kitchen. “For my sanity, if nothing else.”

Cameron’s laughing. “Okay, but I really don’t think we need to make this a whole _thing_.”

So, they tell Haley after dinner. 

“Wait, what?” Haley glances between them, looking utterly confused. “You guys are...dating?”

“Yeah.” Donna puts on her best Understanding Mom Face. “I totally understand if this is weird for you or you need some time to get used to it, and we’re going to do our best to make sure things don’t get too weird around here-”

“Please don’t start calling me Mom,” Cameron interjects with a wink at Haley. “That would be way too weird.”

Donna gives her an annoyed look, but Haley’s grinning. “Okay,” she says. “I won’t. It is weird, but I don’t mean bad-weird, you know? Just like...weird.”

“I know.” Donna sighs. “I was figuring I wouldn’t date anyone until you left for college, maybe, but…” She rolls her eyes fondly and smiles at Cameron. “Here we are.”

“Does Joanie know?” Haley’s biting her lip. “I don’t think she’ll like freak out or anything, but you should tell her. She’d be pissed if I knew and she didn’t.”

“I’m calling her tomorrow to tell her,” Donna reassures her. “And you can talk to her afterwards, if you want.”

“Yeah.” Haley’s looking at her shoes. “Um. Actually, can I talk to you for a second alone?”

Both of Donna’s eyebrows go up. “Of course, uh, Cameron?” She glances at Cameron, who nods and makes a show of getting up. 

Two weeks later, they’re all piling out of the car in the parking lot of the Billy DeFrank Center. “We don’t have to stay the whole time if you don’t want,” Donna’s saying. “There are some teenagers there who seem nice, but you don’t have to talk to anyone, and if you feel uncomfortable we can leave at any time.”

“Jesus, Mom, chill out,” sighs Haley, but she’s smiling. “I’ll let you know if I need to leave, okay?” She exchanges an eyeroll with Cameron. 

“So how d’you think Megan will react when she figures out we’re actually together this time?” Cameron asks Donna with a mischievous grin. “Smug or surprised?”

“I don’t think she’d be _smug_ about it,” Donna says as they head inside. “A little surprised, maybe.”

“Bet you she invites us for brunch again.”


End file.
